Related posts: Focused Participation Series
Poisonous substances are required to come with a warning label. Consider this your participation poison warning!
Even when we have clearly defined our priorities, blocked out our calendar to give those priorities focused attention, and learned to say yes on purpose and no without guilt, there are things that can make their way into our lives that, like a poisonous vapor, can choke the life out of our best laid plans as be begin to participate in them. Our participation causes this poison to exist in our world.
The poison comes in various forms:
- Chaos
- Negativity
- Drama
These things have an emotional, mental and physical consequence that drains our energy or takes up time that could otherwise be given to participating at a higher level in our defined priorities.
These things can exist in our world in 2 ways:
- By participating with others in a way that brings their drama, chaos or negativity into our world
- By participating in thoughts or activities that emphasizes our own drama, chaos or negativity.
We many not want it, and we certainly don’t need it in our world, but because of our participation, it exists in our world. The key is to learn how to stop or limit our participation in these poisonous distractions.
CHAOS
When you are feeling the effects of this poison, you’re probably feeling overwhelmed, confused and not sure what to do first next or last. It’s the classic definition of feeling like your hair is on fire!
Antidotes for this poison:
- If it’s chaos brought into your life by others:
- Stop and ask yourself what options you have to remove yourself from being involved in the situation.
- Is this chaos caused by the consequences of others not making good choices, scheduling their time well or just no being disciplined in life or time management? Be willing to remove yourself from fixing their situation and let them grow stronger by solving it themselves. (Advice and counsel are fine, but remove yourself from being involved in the solution.)
- Give yourself permission to say yes to your priorities and no to their fires.
- If it’s chaos caused by overwhelmed thoughts or an over committed schedule, give yourself permission to stop for 15-30 minutes and put things in priority order:
- What can be filed away for another day?
- What demands immediate attention?
- What can be taken off of your plate and given to another?
NEGATIVITY
When you are feeling the effects of this poison, you’re probably feeling unqualified, defeated and lacking energy. It may not feel like your hair is on fire but it definitely dampens your heart fire.
Antidotes for this poison:
- If it’s negativity brought into your life by others:
- Stop and ask yourself what options you have to limit your exposure from the negative source(s).
- Be your own best advocate and let the negative source know how their words are pulling you down or giving you reason to doubt yourself. A conversation, not a confrontation.
- Give yourself permission to set boundaries that serve you.
- If it’s negativity caused by personal thoughts thoughts of doubt or limited thoughts brought on by comparing yourself to the success or ability of others, gift yourself some self-coaching time.
- Write a list of the things you have accomplished in the last 12 months (or more). Don’t limit the list to ‘big things’. Write out everything you have achieved or accomplished.
- Write out a list of the things you dealt with during those same 12 months (or more) .
- Put the 2 lists side by side and say out loud what you had to overcome to accomplish all you did.
- List your specific abilities by completing this sentence: I am good at…
- Schedule time to do activities that use the things you just listed. Look for activities that align with your defined priorities.
DRAMA
When you are feeling the effects of this poison, you’re probably feeling distracted, frustrated, or emotional. It’s a hair fire you could do without.
Antidotes for this poison:
- If it’s drama brought into your life by others:
- Stop and ask yourself what options you have remove yourself from the source of drama.
- Give yourself permission to set boundaries that serve you.
- If it’s drama caused by personal choices:
- Decide you are ready to stop participating in the drama and make choices that will put you on a more proactive and successful path.
The poison cannot exist in our world
without our participation.
What will I choose to participate in today?
NEXT: Stoke the heart fires – keep your focus on your priorities and keep the distractions at bay.
Need help? Let’s connect…
Living with your heart on fire and keeping the fire out of your hair is not a special skill or ability that some have and some do not, but sometimes we need help stoking the right fire. One of the things that sets my heart on fire is helping others sort and sift through their thoughts, find focus, and develop habits that will serve them well. {stoke a heart fire – not a hair fire!} Wanna chat?